(this is one she gave to me as a wedding gift, it is one of my favorites!)
The Spirit World has Fallen
by Rachel Mcgrath

The Spirit World has fallen. Time will change forever and our guards were murdered and our people were murdered. The election is tomorrow. And look at me; I am second in command locked away. Well Ancir it is your fault for blabbing too much. Jessica it is not my fault. Jessica Fields is missing; she is missing. My wife is also named that. We know able. We are looking into the case. And the princess is going to have her baby in 20 seconds; I can’t look. Eek, Princess, it is a boy. So you are calling him Zar II; interesting. Zar Ii is a young man all of a sudden but for short everyone calls him Tom. Gottcha. Ah, madam put some clothes on please. Can’t I sold them. Don’t look Tom, don’t look. I told you this was a bad idea. You should be ashamed of yourself. Put on some clothes. Please go back in the ship please. Princess, go back in the ship. I will be there. I came to talk business with you Mr. Zar that is all. Call me Tom. OK Tom. What can I do you for? Pardon me, burp, I just had chow. I see you are such a polite young man. I have a proposition to make. How would you like to take in two girls under your wing? I am much obliged for that. OK, then the girls are sold for two bucks. I’ll take them. Escort the girls to their dungeon cells. I will talk to them later. No you won’t. You will talk to us now. Spicy little ones… Leave my father alone. He was found hurt on the battle field. William, there is terrible news. You had better come out quickly. Prince Derrick, Princess Odette, come out; he is hurt badly. Tom…I say General, what has happened. Oh… Lieutenant Puffin, Dark soldiers came. He is very from the battle. Very low power…and he is dying. Please don’t die Tom. Whoever did this to you will pay. And I shall avenge you Tom. Nobody does this to my son. I have reached my limit. This is an absolute outrage. And this means war. Soldiers, stay with Tom. I can still fight them. No Tom, you are still too weak from the battle. Sit this one out. Please listen Tom. But John Bob…listen to him Tom. Yes Steve. Sit down. You are not going back out there. They are too strong. Help me. Your Highness, it is the Dark Warlord. Good heavens. What do you want? The enemy is Bond and Gloat. They are Tom’s nemesis. Look at the Jewelry he has on. He has a black pearl necklace and a jade bracelet. Which means, it is a she put under a dark spell. She must have been his protector. We must bury her but before that we must take away her jewelry. Your majesty for what reason. Her jewelry will look better on Tom. Just kidding. It will look better on his mother. Ok, we will take the jewelry. What about the two swords? We will use them. I’m done playing your games. Hold it, hold the fort down. (Vomit)…clean up on aisle one. You came back from Mexico and Cuba and you ate the food. And you have a bucket on your fanny. This is an outrage.

Who told you to go to Mexico and Cuba? General Sherman; to reason with the government. Oh, oh, hold the fort. Here he goes again. (Vomit) He can’t go in the cart sick. All my life I have been taking care of you. When Queen Barrow sent you to earth, I didn’t know this was the kind of mess you were getting in to. The army screwed you up. He is pointing to the courtroom. Your son is in there, bye, bye. Your son just got over it. They ordered a special medication. Goo-a- tonic…just a moment, you might want to take a look at the expiration date. Expires November 4th. But Goo-a-tonic is one the most deadly medications. The problem is Derrick is that it causes stomach rot. His stomach is rotting. Pretty soon he will become a rotting corpse. That is his punishment because that is the law here. That is a terrible thing to do to a person. But Tom didn’t take the medicine. He takes Meta-force and fossil fuel. He gets minor heart attacks. He has kidney stones and he won’t stop urinating. And he takes Diagot for his comas. Either than that, he drinks animal blood and white wine occasionally. Tom is from India. That is the guy you are adopting. Twenty years ago he bumped into a termite mound in Africa. And then again in Africa, he rolled around in the grass where there were ticks. His diets contains lizards, snakes and other things and rats. Most importantly, people food, like doughnuts and coffee for his job. But he chose easily. I am sorry. I am too sick. I can’t give Tom my germs. That doctor has pneumonia. A lot of sickness this year. Don’t mind me, I will just get some banana peels and apple cores from the trash can. I had a big argument at Jim’s house and I have a headache. Odette, you shouldn’t cry. But he is suffering. It is not right for the poor to suffer. Who used to rule this land? A very king and queen once ruled. And their brother was kind but they all died of pneumonia. That was the last of the kingdom. That is his white knight that guards him at night but I must warn you, his master is cursed. The funny news is that he talks Tarkin. When one is cursed, anyone can talk that kind of language. If you would like to learn more, see me tomorrow night. The doc left his file behind. He was fed up with it. And he was fed up with Tom. His daughter died of pneumonia.

What? What do you mean his father died of pneumonia. They were attacked by the Dark Hand. That is just a cover up story that doctors use. Mr. Tom is a very cruel man. He will beat an old man, he will. He will take little kids lives, he will. And if you step in his way, he will shoot you. And if you sit on his seat, he will punch you in the head. There is one tiny problem; he has a terrible temper. The more human he becomes, the more spirit he becomes. Once his spirit is human, he can never go back to being a Gallidorean. With a human spirit Gallidoreans get a chance to visit other galaxies and the get to conquer them. His spirit gets to travel and gets to conquer more. That is the saddest thing I ever heard. But you didn’t hear it from me. And everyone around here is afraid to mention their problems to him. You mean the man who slept on the floor with us. Yes. That is Tom, isn’t it? He has changed. Every time my father wants to put his hand on his grandson, Tom pushes it away. He does that constantly. Same with my mother, every time she wants to restrain him , he pushes her hand away. I want to put my hand on my son’s shoulder but I am afraid to. I want to kiss him and never let him go but I am afraid to. Why can’t things be the way they used to be. You changed Tom and I am worried.

Hm, maybe slapping and tugging doesn’t do that trick anymore. We give up. I am sorry we ever bothered you. Have a pleasant afternoon, Tom. Mother, Thanksgiving will soon be here. Derrick, do not invite Tom…end of story. Right. Odette, do not deliver the invitation to Tom. Burn that invitation immediately. Derrick, what are we going to do. We have to burn that Odette, otherwise Tom knows. But Derrick, about that letter…Grr…he is here. And he also ate the letter. You are not invited to the party but come right end my friend. And stop chewing on your fur. You look ridiculous. Have a seat. Attack the main fortress. (music…bugles) it is true Captain, Mr. Zar, he has come back. Sacré Bleu. What is it John Bob? Speed. Puffin you had better see for yourself. That is General Tom? Why I will be dancing in the moonlight, so it is. What is Tom doing here? Save us, we are dying (weak voices). You have to save us. You are our last hope. The last thing I heard was that his uncle was still alive and then he fell into a deep heart attack mode. William, the last we heard was Tom was in the hospital in a great heart attack mode. William, his uncle must be stopped. It is the only way to save him. William, he is royalty of another family. And here is his family. What do we tell them. My men and I will deal with Tom’s uncle, you deal with his family. And don’t give them sad news; give them glad news. Tom, what happened? I see Tom. He told me everything. The traitor is alive and well, our own flesh and blood. So, it is uncle again, except this time he is not back with Tom. Oh dear, William, he is not after us. He is after Tom’s family. Charge to the castle and I’ll be there. What is the world? He wants you to hop on his back. He will take you straight to his uncle. The doctor says that is Critius. Now do you see he is a good guy. If Tom is going, so are we. And if you guys are going, I am going with you. Good boy Tom. Remind me to reward you later Tom. How about a hamburger instead of a people burger. He says he is getting tired of eating people burgers. Then it is arranged, your diet is changed. I am with him. Come on, lets help him win. Odette and I will go with you to defeat Bond. Derrick, you go after Bond. I will stay here to protect Tom. Right. Careful. Be careful Tom, I love you. He said you are funny. No you are funny Tom. Sacré Bleu, he likes Odette. Oh, I think John Bob is shocked. He passed out before he even go to the castle. You are getting kind of heavy Tom, what have you been eating? No more wild animals for you and no more fattening doughnuts. And cut back on the coffee. How do you know he drinks coffee? Puffin, I know everything. Ah, that is General Tom for you. Between you and me, I am also a good General. And you are going on a diet Tom when you get back to the castle. Grr. Oh cheer up.

Balto, my father is the General. Jeddah, I know that. Our family has to pull together. This is war. Maurus, this is war. I saw what you did to Tom in the lunch room. Turn in your badge. You are off the force. Promotion cancelled. What you did was an outrage…interrupting a fellow commander while he is still eating. You are the corrupt soldier. General Tom is loyal to his country. That is why he is promoted. You are lucky his insides weren’t damaged. Tom, would you do the honors? Goodbye soldier. Punching a General leads to death. No, No, No, spare me General Tom. Oh…bury him. Forget his funeral rites. No soldier is allowed to visit him. No Generals are allowed to visit him. He has no funeral rites. Carry on General Tom. That is terrible. Maurus, they did something to him. That is all I know. Good morning Muck and Luck. Tom, why did you hurt that man out there. What man? You are denying that man’s death. Maurus, this is war. You took away a dead man’s honor. That is the coward’s way. Maurus, I am not a coward. You are. You carry a weapon, therefore you are a coward. Maurus, so what if he is a coward. That is your father. That is my father and your father. But still my father did terrible things Maurus. My mother made me call him father. I followed orders from him. All the family followed orders from him. And all of them call him father. That is the law. That is a dumb law. Tired already. No. General Tom, we await your attack orders. Your ray to blow up the city is ready. Odette, you are dealing with a madman. Warn Derrick immediately. And thousands will die…we have to change the law of the land. King William, you do need to change the law…you and Uberta, your majesty. As you wish, we will get to it. So many lives will be lost. You madman Tom…

Tom is a madman but we can fix that. If we move him to the downtown area of the cit y, he will be safer. Which means Tom wouldn’t be a threat anymore. But that is not the real Tom. Your are hiding something. Hm, William… King William, it is nice to see your for a change. It is nice to see you for a change, Father. The same as always grandpa…yes Odette. Hello Derrick. Oh Derrick, fighting by your side, oh… Derrick, his insides are fragile don’t do anything that would cost him his life. Good Morning Uberta. Good morning Tom. At least you are more gentle than your son. William, your father is a charming man. Uberta, we can’t keep pretending that he is my father. He is really our grandson. You know it and I know it. Derrick, we can’t keep pretending he is our grandfather. He is our son. The guy in the fur suit is my grandfather but the guy not in the fur suit is my son. Odette, you can’t be serious about this guy. I am. As a mother I would know. I know the truth now.

We took the lie detector test William. We cant lie to the country anymore. Derrick, you and I both took the lie detector test. We can’t lie to this country anymore. If they took the lie detector test does that mean that Tom is not her grandfather? Exactly. Now they are giving us a tour of the city. And this is where the tour ends. He threw up left over cheese dip. That is what John Bob is trying to say. Lieutenant Puffin at your service tom. Oh, nice to meet you Lt. Puffin. Let me throw that away. You must be speed. Yes. From what we understand, we are going to be your new caretakers. And this would be John Bob, his highness. More like cuckoo in the head… You must be Derrick and Odette? Nice of you to kiss me Mom. Dad, what is for dinner? Didn’t you eat? No. You did eat Tom. The cooks prepared your dinner. Sorry grandma. What is it grandpa? I need to have a word with you about throwing rocks Tom. Oh you mean that. Yes, it will be in the new law.

William, you can’t keep convincing everyone that Tom is a good person. The votes have already gone in. Eight days have already passed. The new future ruler is Tom. My grandson, the funny man? Interesting. I guess the people truly love funny. So funny is in the new law. And the first new law has already passed. And so have all the other laws, except for one thing. What do we do about Tom’s cousins? William, one is dead and one is putting Tom in harm’s way. Why did it have to be the nice one that had to die. And I truly thought the nice one was going to be our heir. But I see the nice one in Tom. I see the nice side of Tom. It is a side I never saw. If you bring out the niceness in him, then maybe there is hope. And maybe there is hope for this land. Tom, you are going to be the future king. And you are going to be the future Captain of the Guards Tom. Give up this funny business Tom and be serious about your position. If you can’t give up that position then maybe we need someone else to fill your shoes. Give up what I love? Mother, don’t let him throw away his career. He is good at what he does. Just don’t throw that away Tom. Mother, it was the people’s position to let funny in. It is not your decision. It is his decision. Tom, if you give up your position now, you are throwing away what you love. Don’t do it for the people’s sake.

Mother, you can’t make Tom choose between his career and his wife. Mother, we may be his third family but it doesn’t give a right to butt into his life, just because the servants took care of him when he was at the castle. Even the servants know that Tom’s position is quite powerful. Derrick, even I know that Tom’s position is quite powerful. Your majesty, you have to be insane to let Tom pick between his life and his career. Your majesty, terrible news…Tom didn’t come back from the meeting. Tom, what happened? Oh… boom… What the heck is that? That would be Tom Lazar, the real Tom Lazar. And that would be a drone. The real Tom Lazar eats people (munching sounds)… He likes to munch on people as well. Hm, no wonder there are a lot of dead carcasses. Yes, because of the recent war. He is going outside. Swish…and that would be his magical dagger that can copy anyone’s skin. Now he has chosen a handgun. It is between him and his cousin…the bad one. Don’t let Tom out of your sight. Help him if you can. He is our last hope for peace in this world. William, are you meddling in other people’s business again. Meddle, meddle, that is all you seem to do. It is time to put a stop to William and Uberta. They are getting on my nerves with their new laws. And is their daughter and son hovering over him. It makes me sick. I have had enough of William and Uberta’s servants kowtowing to him. Look at that, one little boo boo and William comes running to his grandson. Eu, makes me sick. I pardon myself from the town meeting. I am going home. And you Tom, be quiet. Good, now that you are quiet I can get some sleep. That happens. He is my master.

His master is dead. So is Kahn, so is Dr. Brain. Meldo, your team is about the only team that is alive. Also, my arm still hurts from that flu shot. Quit complaining Meldo. Well, care for a meat sandwich Tom. Thank you Helmut. You need some meat in your diet other than the things you eat. And the things you eat are horrible. They have no flavor which means the food is bland. Congratulations Tom in stopping Kahn. Thank you. Dad, tell me you didn’t do what I think you did. Aha…so he did it after all Bronz. Oh, oh, oh, oh…I am just as shocked as you are. Tom, how many times have I told you not to hurt our enemy. None. You still don’t get it do you Tom. Stop the revenge and add some peace in your life. You wait until I tell your folks what you did. Oh that is right, we owe your folks and so does everyone else. Apparently when we digned up to adopt you so did everyone else. Oh and by the way Mr. Tom, congratulations on your election. Election? Who voted for you? The city voted for him, meaning us. Balto, you voted Tom in. That is funny. He is real funny. I know cause he is family. Congratulations dad on your up coming election and along with the election comes rules. The laws have changed…the laws of the land have changed. Just read the laws. Tom, we hope to see you at tomorrow’s party. He always looks so serious. Loosen up Tom. Yes Derrick I will try.

William, a war broke out. It has been a long day. I am tired. Balto, it is Tom. He is alive. It is Tom. He is alive. How is that. Because of that, they are only in his dreams. And this is part of his dream. The dream Tom is different than the real Tom. Derrick, there are two Toms, one is real and one is not. There is only one question I have…Louie, leave the dream Ray on and lets see wht happens. Oh, you mean the dream machine. Something tells me we are about to get zapped into the real world. The real Tom doesn’t even know he is asleep. Honey, leave it on full power and see what happens. Ok, and we will see you in the morning Tom. Sweet dreams. Oh, Oh…whoosh…now we are in the real world. Sacré Bleu, he stinks. He had onions for dinner. Sacré Bleu.

Sacré Bleu, why did he have onions yesterday and this afternoon this same dish. But pizza was the dish and again the same pizza. Sacré Bleu, what do to with this man. Well we could help him. We cannot help a man who is most unhappy. Speed, you know what to do. Come on Lt. Puffins, we are going to cheer him up. Go with them John Bob. Sacré Bleu, don’t leave me. I see he likes frog legs. That kept John Bob quiet for a while. Hello Lt. Puffin. Yo, Speed my man. Hi mom, Hi dad. He thinks we are his parents. For now Darien, you and Odette have to play his folks. King William and I will have to play his grandparents. And in time dear brother, we can pull it off. My men will protect Tom for as long as he is alive. And we servants will serve Tom as long as he is alive. Master Tom, you must survive. Louie, we left on the Dream-a-thon and soldiers have just come out. Shut it off. 100 soldiers have just popped out. I will handle the soldiers. If I don’t save him, he will die. Then the kingdom will be doomed. I must protect. Look out, someone is right behind him. Oh, keep fighting men. Tom, go back inside. We will deal with the enemy. Where are you Bond? Right behind you Tom. To death we fight. Agreed. Tomorrow night we fight. Agreed. At the cliff. Alright then.

But Tom has been in jail for the longest time. There is a way we can save him but it is a risky mission. Carol, put on some clothes. So I see you are busy with Tom. Never mind. I am Tim. And that is my wife Carol and that is my son Tom. You must be the newcomers. Welcome aboard. Newcomers…what exactly are you talking about. And those are Tom’s parents. That would be the Koga and Iga clan. Tom is a very busy man. And that would be Tom’s uncle. Welcome aboard. Our mission is to rescue those who are in trouble. And that would be my daughter who has a crush on Tom. They are not related. I can see you are related. Sacré Bleu, what is this. Simple, we are going back in time to help an old friend. My pop, that is who. We are saving his butt and putting someone else in the fire. In other words Digard will be in charge of the mission. Wonderful. So we are bringing back an old friend. Terrific. An old friend who know how to take medicine, I presume? Yes, that he does. He gets them from Spain. When we do go back we are staying forever in that period. Yes sir. Simple, Sgt. Tom needs us. He is about to make Sgt. under my roof. Sir, we can hardly stay awake. Just to make sure, take your medicine. And we are going to help Dr. Gaius sort out his medicine. Mr. Balto, you know what to do. Yes, General, I know what to do. Boys, just drive. Ok. Muck a Luck be quiet. When we get to the new land Muck a Luck don’t say anything. Uncle Boris, we are here. Oh dear. Balto, this is a bad idea bringing Tom back to our world. We got stopped in the dream world. Now where are we going? We are staying here. The doc needs help and Tom needs help from a lot of us. Tom, don’t be quiet…be hap[y and stop pooping around. Knock, knock, who is there? Boris. Boris who? Boris who is to fly in. That is funny. That is funny. Knock, knock. I lost my shoe. That is good one. Knock, knock, who is there? I swallowed a pipe. Now that is funny. Enough jokes Tom…time for bed. Ok. I got a show to do tomorrow and need some bed rest. My aching back for crying out loud. First thing we will take you to the doctor. Goodbye Tom. Goodnight Boris.

The town of Goya…what is in Goya? What exactly do they want? Iga and Koga are complete opposites compared to Goya. Be careful sister. I will watch the little one, meaning Tom of course…that is their little one. Where were you brother Tom? I was on the internet. Little one you should be careful. I will be. Tom has always been the little one in town. You harm him and Koga goes against us cause Tom is part of their family. Here comes Papa and mama now. Boys, you better leave. Dad and mom, what are you doing back so early. So tired, I can’t argue with you. It is feeding time for him. I will tell you more secrets tomorrow night. I need some rest.

The secret is that Tom has incredible powers that no one messes with. Oh, Oh, he found me. Tom…oh…(stab)…he killed him…so now what. He was our only hope because he was the only one connected to this world. He was a tour guide and now we need another tour guide. Here comes one right now. And it is a woman tour guide. There are a lot of secrets people just don’t know about. For example, Iga and Koga are at peace. Mom and Dad trust their son. Twoche kuchita. Balto, he just said that is his daughter. Oh and by the way, that is my father Tom. I guessed that. Elsa, from the looks of it, it looks like Tom only goes after those who owe him money. That is Tom’s modum. But who hired Tom. Balto, someone in a black jacket hired him. It smells like blood has already been shed for too long. Meldo, this case has gotten out of hand. I know Helmut. Bronz, that’s what Meldo said about an hour ago. Don’t be ridiculous that he is in the same place at the same time. That would be his daughter. What do you say we stop pop putting more people in harm’s way by negotiating with him. Its simple. All we do is make him agent 13 and he is as happy as a boat. We need a man of skill on our side of the field. Trust me Carmen it will work and your nephew will fall to us. Carmen, I don’t know about the idea but I think it will work. If you say so Doctor. And maybe I can check out Tom’s health, that is if he doesn’t bite me.

Little one has passed on. Oh no, Tom is dead. He died at four o’clock today. Great, so one less drone we have to worry about. Thank you for taking care of me. I will see you later honey. Ah, Tom, it is nice to see you. We lost the computer technology of you. Great. How many wild drone are going to be there. Your sister is a really sweet lady. She is your wife Tom, respect her. As always. You are still recuperating from war Tom. Those soldiers keep on getting stupider and stupider. And your men are of no use to you Tom, they left you here to die. Your men are ignorant. Your men are quite stupid for leaving you to die. Your men are selfish. A selfish army is what they are. As of this day forward Tom, you are no longer their General. And as of this day forward, you are now a part if Iga and Koga. Once you marry my sister, everything will be working out perfectly. But you are forgetting I am already married. It doesn’t matter. I read your chart and the lady is already selected. Impossible. No matter what the consequences are you still need more care. You already have a Koga on your side. You must marry an Iga Tom for balance your life. Why does your sister have to hang around me for several weeks? She likes you Tom, a lot. That is why she chose you. Oh. And my sister likes you the same way Tom. That is why tomorrow night you are going to marry her since you are the oldest and wisest of our clan. And since you are responsible, I trust your marriage will work out. Oh, what about my heart pills. Don’t take them all at once. And from now on Tom, you will have a monitor for how much medication you will take. Welcome to Koga, Tom and to Iga.

We understand your grandfather called you. You are worried aren’t you. You are very worried. Your husband is very, very worried. He has no family to bring to his grandfather. And he is in heavy debt. Too many bills he has to pay. Doesn’t have a place to stay. If he stays here, he lives in the bathroom. Hm, I have an idea. Tell Tom we will go with him because I already booked the tickets and now we are early. Sh, sh, you don’t want to ruin the surprise. Sister, congratulations on your marriage. And Tom congratulations on your operation. It is getting late. You should be going to bed Tom. Your wife wants to speak to you. I can’t tell you the surprise. I will tell you later in the bedroom. And stop picking your head…you will lose your skin that way. Sorry. Pleasant dreams.

What secret was that? My wife never told me what was the secret. Tom, what was all that fuss about in the morning? Oh, Ok, what else doc do we have to know about him. Apparently the doctor who was studying him left. And his daughter was named fuzzy. She was Tom’s second wife that passed away. Let me guess, Dino was his first? Yep. The Yao family passed away before saying goodbye to Tom. I sense terrible things have already happened. The planets have all fallen. Great evil is on the horizon. But his family will have to face the great evil. Heather, you can’t deny it anymore. Tom is one of our committee members. The Head Counsel’s daughter trusts her father more than anything. But we have to get past his family and past Tom. Tom is basically lazy, fat and stupid. But he is very bright as a light bulb. Eight years ago he fought against the dark hand and got cursed. We follow the real Tom and help him defeat the great evil. Your father was a very powerful man at one time. Now it is time to send his daughter and her friends to earth. Black, you and your family are going to earth. That will be your last stop. Be careful along the way. You will meet your enemies. And if you hear someone laugh that will be Tom in the background. Gloat and his army are on the move. The planets have all fallen. It is your place to restore a new world. Slave ships are being built as we speak. And Tom has become part of the problem. But brother, Tom is already part of the problem. Not if we convince him. And simple, we pull him out of being the problem and we leave the blame on somebody else. I will find somebody else to take the fall. Somebody that is stupid enough to believe us. Tonight is our last night here and everything is set for tomorrow. Simple, I will find the fool who will be playing the part of the fiddler. Unfortunately his actor friends have all died in an automobile crash. He is going through a rough time and may need some comfort. And there is one thing you have to know about Tom; he is covered in debt up to his ears and he has lots of subpoenas. I think I have an idea.

Brother, what is your idea on how to get him out of debt. The only way to get him out of debt is to move him out of the country. I can carve one of my owl statues and we can make a fake invitation. That idea just might work then that way we can move out to a country away from Tom that gives us freedom. I am sorry sister but you have to say goodbye to Tom. And beside I didn’t really care about him. Brother, I was never really interested in him. Tom, you just can’t join us. I am sorry. But we will see you in eight years, then you can join us. Lets get away from that gross disgusting thing and leave. The year was 1919. Tom Lazar went to prison for 30 years. 8 years later he was freed. But there are crimes and allegation still against him so he still sits in jail. At least his children have grown up. Now we can go see his father. You are too late. He changed his name to Betty and sometimes Bob. He spent the money on women’s clothing and on monk’s clothing. The neighbors gave Tom a free turkey and a free pie. And he has developed a talent to talk to the dead in one of his late shows. Louie’s shut down after Louie and his wife died. The Flames no longer play there. Tom no longer plays the trumpet. He now works in toy town selling hamburgers. And Tom eats the fries and Tom gets angry. Tom now reads woman’s magazines instead of comic books because Tom thinks he is a woman. That is the new joke he uses. That is all.

And Tom still uses the same joke repeatedly. No new material for him. The latest news is that Tom likes to get rid of people. I can’t tell you the gross details. So it is that disgusting. Tom, what have you gotten yourself into. At least the mystery is solved. So we should be careful when we cross Tom. You heard what that man said. We find Tom and apologize. Because if we don’t, this terrible thing he is doing could happen some more. When we find Tom, we wash him up and take him in. I saw Tom by the river. And he is still there. Good, do we apologize now? Yes. Tom, I am sorry we didn’t take you but what are you doing by the river banks. Oh, Oh, another leopard (leopard sound)? Yes. Oh no, and the leopard has him in his mouth. He has something in his mouth but that couldn’t be Tom. It would be best to turn back now. Look at you Tom, you are a mess. Lets take you home. You poor man. Who is this guy? Oh no. Uh huh. The leopard killer? Uh huh. Oh no, then we have to save him. We got to get him out of here before the leopards find out what he did. How do we do that? Simple, we trick him. And this is the guy who got shot in the head eight years ago. Ouch. I think he came from that castle. He just walked inside it. Lets follow him. It is beautiful. Except for the dead people. These people have lived here for hundreds of years. They must have been his family. Now it is up to us to be his family according to the ancient prophecy. And according to his file he is the real Tom Lazar. Since 1909 he has been in jail because of a crime he committed. Oh man.

And according to this he is a special case. In several cases he has managed to throw food. Like in today’s case he tried to go outside. He hid twice underneath the table and began crying. He has calmed down quite a bit since then. He hid behind the curtain today. Yelling doesn’t solve anything. We must be reasonable with them. He lives in a giant castle and yet he is so afraid. His feelings and emotions are very sensitive because he is only half human. He doesn’t understand that. But the human side makes it difficult. You ru b him the wrong way he is going to get upset. Oh great now you got him crying and he won’t stop crying. I will see what I can do. I sent your brother in to comfort him. Flan, where are you going. Flan, come back in. Dusha dusheda. Fasa fasa ducheda. Good. He has learned never to speak his language. His language is English but he wont speak it. He has learned to shut up. And he has learned to tear out their hearts cause that is all he understands. The maid points out that Tom is a more responsible man than the doctor. And they argued all morning. The maid left Tom alone. According to the maid, the doctor never takes his medicine on time. But he is very good in the morning about taking his medicine. I guess Dr. Guessing-hound hasn’t learned his lesson from the last time. And Tom takes his heart medicine whenever he is in trouble. Whenever he gets fed up, he goes to national jail. Like they say, Tom is a special case. Tom is mentally handicapped. He has been that way for 19 years. That is how many years it has been. Tom was in rehab getting rehabilitated. Now that he is out, he is in a special unified army program. Apparently the army left us a paper. And apparently we are stuck taking care of Tom. And according to this a new law just came in. And it quotes that there are no new laws…obey the old laws until next year. Education flops up. And now teams are getting to fight and a whole lot of things have gone on. Without a women’s opinion Tom is lost. He is a special case no matter what. We should have stayed with him to help him. Now we can only hope that by next year the law will change. Here is a recent tape of last Thanksgiving. Tom is not in the picture. That is just it. Dad wasn’t involved at all in any of these events. Top secret movie cannot be revealed. Lets see what this top secret movie has to hold against Tom. That is the guy that is after dad. Brother, that is the man that is after Tom. I guess this means the nightmares are real. But he is still trapped in 1919. In 1919 they had the dream chocolate mixer on TV. That is what he is still talking about. But he doesn’t say a word now about it. I guess that was the year he learned to shut up. And that was the year he learned blood must be shed, especially family blood. Now that his family is out of the way we don’t have to worry. What do we do with Mr. Whisk…you know…simple, we just have to tell him that is wrong. And if that doesn’t work then I will try a different approach. You are not thinking what I think you are thinking. No, no, no…yes, yes, yes…it is the only way. It is the only way for my father to gain back happiness. And your sister will be the perfect queen. You mean her, the one with the sword. What did you do to make him quiet. Right, it is our secret. You be a good boy, ok. Mom, we will see you in a little while. That would be his sister that was just feeding him an hour ago. Uh huh and he is happy. The only way you can make him happy is to breast feed him. Little Flan likes breast milk. It is the nick name they gave him. And here comes mother to comfort him. She is the comfort crew and she is Captain of the Guards. Pop is the juggler. And yes they are married. Little Flan is theirs. And little Flan is my father. So father what is in the news? Nothing much. Brother and I are so sorry we scared you. We promise we won’t do it again little Flan. All is forgiven. Make sure you don’t do it again. He is a forgiving man. Little Flan…that is who he is to me. Come on little Flan, you are going to be late for your picture. There we go. Hold on. We are all done here. Thank you. What was that for? For being so patient little Flan. You suddenly made me forget about who I was going to conquer. Now I remember who I was going to conquer and I am off to work. Good and I will help you. We must help little Flan win. Iga and Koga must be a peace with Little Flan. Little Flan is your husband. He likes that name. It makes him happy. So little Flan I guess we are with you. Uh Huh. I have a surprise for you little Flan, my brother and I would love to help you with your surprise attack. Your little surprise may turn out to be a big surprise, later on in the bedroom little Flan. Tonight I will sleep with you. Yes dear, it has been many years since we have been separated but my wife still loves me for who I am…both my wives. Don’t worry little Flan, we have everything under control. Little Flan, we do need to talk.

Little Flan, I am just so happy you are alive. You are happy, what about me? I ain’t so glad to see you cause I ain’t. Little Flan, I am so glad you are safe. I have been safe for the last 12,000 decades. Little Flan, I am so glad you are alive. I have been alive for more than 5000 years. What is so glad about it? Little Flan, I am so glad you are safe. Huh, I haven’t been safe since the dawn of time. Mr. Tom stop complaining. Do you think I am complaining? I am not complaining maid, I am just disgusted with people. I am just disappointed. I have been disappointed since the dawn of time. I truly hate Thanksgiving. There is nothing for me to be thankful for. Oh is that right little Flan? Yes. Little Flan, you must understand. I am grateful because you are my little brother Little Flan. Little Flan, you have to understand. You must be grateful for something. Bah Humbug. He is not even responding to that. It is true your Highness; your son is not grateful for anything. Then I have a suggestion. It is true your majesty; he is not even grateful to be here. I am guessing he is an ungrateful man. Throw little Flan in the dungeon. He won’t be joining us for Thanksgiving. Since your brother is so ungrateful, we will show him ungratefulness. What is this? Ah…what happened? There is little Flan. Oh my head…he just got shot in the head. My love are you ok? Yes, I am ok mom. It is good to see you are ok Tom. I remember everything. Lord Tom, are you alright? William, by next year we have to change these laws. Yes Uberta. But for now, we have to investigate who shot Tom in the head? Darien, I will get you yet. Not if I get you. It is over fuzz face.

Hey fuzz face, remember me. William, it is the enemy. So, the enemy shows his face. Is this how you greet your allies Tom? And what are you doing with that weapon? What an idiot. The idiot leaves his gun on the table. The better man picks it up. He uses a knife to defend himself. A knife can’t protect you but a gun will. Is that what you are trying to say. Then allow me to introduce another weapon. A sword? Cool. Heh, Heh…lets get out of here. You frightened them both away. Put your sword away. I can’t believe in this world people are doing such terrible things. They both came back in the same room. Do no attempt to pull out your sword again. Don’t attempt that, you might scare them away. Ok, let go of my clothing and we can discuss this Tom about your Thanksgiving. Dad, let go of my wife’s clothing and we can discuss this. No. Honey, just carry him out of here. What happened? Oh, no.

For your information, Mr. De Thomas is not an ordinary man. That would be De Thomas, the man of the hour… Oh, hello Tom. I need you to do me a little favor. Eat more rats. Yes. I will see what I can do. And your are turning into a prince. Mother, you cant turn father back into a prince. I can and I will. Just read the bottle. Deliver this to Mr. Tom immediately. For 90 years, Tom has been a loyal customer. He deserves to be turned into a prince. And you two belong together. I don’t think the potion is going to work on time. Wreck, we do need to discuss our marriage. Don’t you think I know that Kiana. Yawn, it has been a tiring day father, you should get some bed rest. Wreck, is that guy really your grandfather. So, I am guessing, you must be Tom. Yep, he approved the marriage….(sleeping sounds). Mother, what did you do to him? I put a sleeping spell on him. That should keep your father quiet for awhile. Not one peep from you. Or I tell your father you blew up the microwave. No, mother, I will keep quiet. Ouch, now that is cruel.

When his mother wasn’t looking, Tom got her revenge on her. He killed plenty of people in his time. This business of killing people I do not like. Lets put some bright lights into Tom’s soul. So should we tell “blood one” the tale of how we met? I think we should. He know your grandparents quite well. And your ancestors quite well. Ah, Blood One, it is nice to see you for a change. That is an awful nick name. What did you do to get that name? I just read his mind. And he told me without any words why he did. He didn’t say why… why he stole that brownie from that customer in line… That is terrible. Give him his brownie back. No. He won’t return his brownie Tom. Very well then, the agreement has been settled. That is how they met him. But that is not all. Your ancestors gave him that nickname for a reason. The bullet has affected his memory and with that come moments when you hear words you have never heard before. Your grandfather taught him everything he knows. We believe that. He has the true soul of a human for a half -breed. That is not true. My son is not a half breed. He is my son. Leave my cousin alone. Very well then I will but you have been warned.

Our ancestors began their mission with two brothers from the opposite side. Blood Thirst was from neither side because he was not our ancestor. People criticize him for the way he was. Our ancestors couldn’t figure out why. Many were offended by that name. And they all died. Help us, we are dying by their own enemies. He wasn’t always called that. That was his name before Tom. Then our ancestors changed his name to Tom. And they gave him that nickname. Now it is just a nickname. Our ancestors wanted to celebrate Christmas the way Tom celebrated Christmas. But there was just one problem with that. Lord Hacker had banned Christmas for the Gallidoreans. And he forbade half-breeds from entering the castle. When he had taken away their Christmas, he forbade happiness. And he forbade cheering. Hacker smiled upon his evil scheme, evil as he was. Get the half-breed. Well, well, well half breed, breaking the rules are we. Lord Hacker never made it alive. The Gallidoreans were at peace. They were free to have Christmas at any time. Our ancestors accepted half-breeds. Long live Tom they said. Now they had to find a new ruler, now that Tom’s dearly beloved brother had perished and dearly beloved father had passed on. Mother had perished with brother. One brother survived. He was chosen to be the ninja king. His fiancé was chosen to be his queen. And Tom was chosen to be their prince. They trained him night and day with a sword. His queen picked up fast. And they were his family. Our ancestors put up the tree and turned on the lights. And they told Prince Tom about St. Nick. And that is how Tom believed in Christmas. That is really amazing. My grandfather believed in Christmas…unbelievable. Tree is already put up and presents are underneath it. Go to bed Tom, Santa Claus will arrive soon. Good story.

Tom, I still can’t believe my own cousin Tom believes in Christmas. My father believe in Christmas. That is funny. My daughter made a wish. That is nice. My wife made a wish, that is wonderful. I guess it is time for me to make a wish. I only wish that Tom was happy forever. Your father made a wish. That is groovy. Now I know that he is not from this world. Where the heck did he come up with that word? Dad, you gotta teach me that word. One of these Dad, you are going to have to talk like a regular person and stop living in the 90’s. I know you were there in the 90’s. You were there during the 80’s, the 70’s, the 60’s…But those years are gone. Cherish the people around you that you have now. Have joy with the people around you. Your friends that are dead…let them rest. Today Tom, let your past rest. You are right. Move forward. That is what your grandfather said to me. Since then I have moved forward. In other words I have moved on. That is good to know Tom. Tom it is wonderful that you will move on in life. My sister has an announcement to make Tom. Those of you that are here, I thank you. And those of you that are gone; may you rest in peace as we crown Tom King of Ninja.

Congratulations, King of the Ninja. Our plans are at peace now. Ho, Ho, the Mistletoe, someone is underneath it. Tom, what is it like being King. Its cool. No one has ever crowned me King. You need a Queen don’t you. I will be your Queen forever. Yes Tom and our school will protect you at all costs. A King needs soldiers. Tom, forget about boot camp. You are not going back there. That is peasants’ work. That was before you became King Tom. You can’t go back to work. We will pay off your lawsuits and other things. And don’t worry, we will win every case. You have the best lawyers in town Tom. You have the best family in town. I have the best? Yes, you have the best, us…you have everything you could want Tom. Everything? Yeah, right. I don’t even know who I am. Who the heck is Tom? And what the heck is a King? I don’t know any of these people. I am out of here. It takes time for him to know his place but he will know his place. It will take time for Lord Tom to know his place. It says here that he got shot in the head and the killer is hiding behind a bush. I will deal with the assassin my Lord. Let me deal with him. That is the weapon he used on Tom. Then why does Tom have it? Stop him.

The assassin, he is dead. He jumped out from behind the bush. And there is his partner, dead by a car. Tom shot him by a parked cr. I am guessing that Tom dealt with the problem the old fashioned way. Get rid of the gun. It is of no use to you Tom. That is because Tom copied his skills. So he is a copier. He can copy your skills in less than 12 seconds. That dagger around his neck maybe more harm than use. And yet you two still want to get married. You are going to ask Tom to marry you. He fainted when I asked. Don’t ask Tom to marry you. He wouldn’t know anything about marriage. He is the crudest guy in the world and yet you are asking Captain Crude. I despise you Tom. I don’t like your crude ways Tom. Oh hello Chaos and Chaos. That would be Dr. Chaos and Chaos Jr. They look suspicious. It looks like Junior has something on him. And he is pointing it straight at Tom. Junior, that is enough. Chaos Jr. that is enough. Drop the weapon. You two are under arrest for attempted murder. 80 years in jail for the both of you. You broke the law. As for Tom, he is free of you. Put the weapon in the evidence bag for fingerprints. I busted them for something they did. Not only that but I stopped the drug heist. You prevented Tom from taking the drugs. Exactly. Serve and protect Tom is my duty. It is my destiny to be his guardian. And that is what we do. Just as it is your destiny to be his caretaker; it is my destiny to protect him. Tom and your destiny is to be King. Try to remember who your enemies are and who your friends are and don’t run into the door, you big goof ball.

Tom, I know this is a little late but what time are you showing up for the party tomorrow. You know Tom doesn’t talk about that kind of thing. He has been quiet all his life, ever since that attack. No one helped him. We were the only ones who helped him. He said surprise him. Ok. So he wants a surprise party. That would be Tom. He does not talk much. Humph. He doesn’t even look at you when you talk to him. Is that the one word he said? Dad, come on, say something. No. There has to be a way to crack him open. There just has to be a way. There has to be a way to crack open Dad to get his true feelings out. There’s got to be a way to crack open Tom. Perhaps there is a way to crack the King. At tomorrow’s party perhaps…or maybe tonight. I have to get answers from him. And our marriage has to be approved by Tom. Jessica, Able, you know the rules. Crack open Tom, see what you get out of him. He is your father. I will try. He goes nothing. What is wrong Tom? Nothing. It is just that I killed Dark Soldiers today and I will be going out of the country tomorrow for an operation. Once I enter that room, it will be nitey nite. So what are we going to do about Tom’s party? Simple, we stop that operation. Whatever the State has against him, we will hire the best lawyers. And I know just the number to call and just the team. I already called them. They are on their way. We will stop that operation no matter what it takes. End of the line Tom, turn around. Go home.

You moron, you gave Tom the wrong message. He didn’t go home. He is at home. You gave my son the wrong message. You told him that the hand of power was at stake. And it is true. You are too late (weak voice). Grandfather, grandfather is gone. So the hand of power did come. Now we have no choice but to join Tom. I will finally see my son. You go on wife without me (broken voice). My husband was killed and your grandfather was killed. And that happened in Germany. At the same time German gangs were beating up on Tom. The gangs had their pocket knives out and at that time Germany was going through a rough time and whoever entered the alley got hurt. And Tom entered the alley and got hurt. I saw the look of sadness in his eyes. He is my son. That is all I know. I don’t want to lose him to the Dark Hand. If Gloat wins this war we lose. So we have to promise Tom that we have to protect him. Max, we have to promise we will protect Tom and all the others. You are right. This is the path. We have to protect the present, the past, the future. And this is Christmas in the past. I am late for my sons birthday party. Your mother is here to pick you up Tom. Mom, nice to see you for a change. Are you ok Tom? Yes, well congratulations Tom you got your gunmen by accident. Slip of the trigger Tom. Yes. Nice work. Get your eyes checked and get that ticker checked. I am ordering you more medications so don’t worry about it. Bad time to have a heart attack. Slow down on the doughnuts and you won’t die so quickly and stop drinking coffee. Nope.

You never listen to my advice. You are stubborn Tom. Eh! That’s all you have to say for yourself. What a word. What was that you said? Nothing. Choking… What was that all about and who was that guy. You again. What do you want with me? You are going to tell me the truth. I didn’t come to the city to listen to you murmur. Where are the rebels? On the ground. That is more like it. And as for you, I have a little surprise. That will teach you for opening your mouth to the wrong guy. It is true. He has no hatred and no desire. And no temptation. He is not an ordinary man. Not an ordinary man. And he is in the city…in this city. He has gotten inside the castle and he has capture every civilian on the street. This place is not even a city. It is a nothing place. Some call him the destroyer of the land. He doesn’t shed a tear because he is a different case. Tell your mutt to be quiet. How rude of you, you little pipsqueak. Listen here you pipsqueak. Move along you little pipsqueak. Ah, let go of me. Now you are an elder person. Thank you for giving me your youth. (Squeezed top of head to get youth quality.) And as for you…you are my breakfast ticket. Diet contains eating other animals and other things, like in this example, a dog. At least we now know what is on his diet. That is terrible. We better go see what he wants. What is your problem? The little guy probably doesn’t get enough meat on his diet. It says here that he is the original Tom Lazar. Bring him in. This is our house. We hope you like it dad. He is try ing to tell you that he wants to bring in his breakfast. No, no, keep the dog out. Only you are allowed in. Please dad, keep the dog out. He has to bring in his breakfast immediately for scientific evidence. Drop the breakfast. Here is your breakfast. Good job on hunting that dog, Tom. Dad, it is nice to have you home. Welcome to Huron City. Thank you for giving me breakfast I think. Oh no, the little pipsqueak did it again. He is good. That is twice in one day. Curses, the fur ball got away. And I wasn’t finished with him. I will have to find the boy on my own, then he will hand me over the girl. Your son is safe for now. Tom, how did you find me? Oh no. Yep, the enemy. 70 percent of the enemy has been defeated. 30 percent is not defeated which means the enemy has more Generals that are after Tom’s hide and we know who the enemy is. It is Gloat and Bond. I am getting tired. I am gong to bed. You get some bed rest and stop eating dog meat it is bad for you. What kind of an example are you showing your kids, huh? It is not alright to be eating dog. Ugh, dog.


Well, I would like to help you but I can’t. Look, you are not that cool to talk to because you are not considered to be the real Tom. Make it an arranged birthday party. It is for Tom, our husband. So you are all his wives? Yes. Ok, would that be without the cake or with the cake? With the cake. It looks like someone is having a party. Tom, don’t forget your birthday surprise. We all have a birthday surprise waiting for you at home. Ok, I will wait until my surprise. He is cool to talk to because he is the real Tom. For a guy who got shot in the head, you sure are popular. Down Tom, down. Ok Tom, down. We are home. Happy birthday Tom and yes we bought a Christmas tree and it is already decorated. Go with the ladies and have a fun time in the pool. Now this is fun. Fun for him because he gets nurtured but badly for us.

Are you positive that you are not jealous of Tom? What was that? Where did Jim go? Conclusion maybe…you are jumping to conclusions. Jim wasn’t murdered, he was just kidnapped. No, Jim can’t be sick. What happened in here? What happened to these people and the others? I was framed. I did do it. Tell it to the court Jim. The video camera shows that you are the one who did this. And you are the one who broke into the museum